Preacher or Teacher...or who am I defined by.

I wonder how many of us are defined by who we are, or who others think we should be.

I added the "or who am I defined by" because as a pastor, I receive a lot of advice from people who think I should "be" or "do" something, or fit into a mold that they desire.  My spiritual gift is teaching.  It is what floats my boat, and it is when I use my gift that God seems to show up in power.  Of course I can always improve in every area.

Over the past year, I came under quite a bit of criticism by a number of people who have since left my church (many after being there for over 10 years) with this statement, "We want preaching, not teaching."  Hmm, I recall these very same people complimenting me no less than 2 years ago on the messages I delivered from the pulpit.  And so they left...to go to a church where the pastor filled their definition of "preaching."

Preaching...simply means to proclaim.  Teaching...it means to rightly divide the word of truth and to impart it with life application.  But for some, it seems that preaching means to make people feel bad about themselves, bad enough to want to come back next week for another dose of guilt and shame.  I know that guilt is for sin, and that comes from conviction through the Holy Spirit, and shame comes from the devil to desires to destroy and mar with lies what God has made.  

Preachers?  Some of my favorite pastors are 'teachers' ...including Charles Stanley, Andy Stanley, Bill Hybels, Bill Johnson, and others. I really don't know anyone I would call a preacher.  I am not sure that I would even be able to recognize one if I met one.

The truth is, some folks want us to fit into their mold.  They want to remodel our lives into their own image of what they want.  It happens in every church I have ever been a part of.  I know I have critiqued pastors I have sat under.   But the man or woman of God who is called to serve and pastor and deliver the Word of God must be faithful to who they are and to that calling.  He or she is not accountable to any man, but is ultimately accountable to God.

And then, there is the "excuse."  People rarely want to really tell you why they leave your church body, so they mask that behind the thinly veiled excuse "I want preaching, not teaching."  It takes time to burn through this fog, and for myself, it wasn't until I got close to my Father in Heaven and got secure in who I am and what I am doing and why I'm doing it...that I saw through the excuses some of these folks gave me.  I had to find my definition in Christ, and who I am in Him before I could see through the smoke screen.  Until I did so, I went through a ton of soul searching to understand if there was something wrong with me or with my core ministry.

Coming out of this storm and looking back, there are a lot of lessons to learn.  But the biggest one is to remain who I am in Christ and not allow the "crowd" to try to redefine me.  I am not a Billy Graham, I am not Bill Johnson, and I am certainly not Andy Stanley...as much as I admire each of them and their unique ministries.  I am Bob Higgins, Pastor, Teacher, husband, father, lover and follower of Jesus.  And my value, my identity and my worth is found in Christ alone, not in who follows me, not in the size of my church or the size of our budget.  One day I will be "evaluated" and judged by the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, the One who bought me and paid for me and gave me such generous grace...for how I used the gifts He gave to me and to check the fruit that I bore because I "remained in Him."  He alone gets to tell me who I am, and how I am to live this life.  I am defined by Jesus!