Dreams are places to make your mistakes!

Last night I had a couple of dreams that really exposed my heart.  In one of them, I was with a group of pastors eating a meal and a policewoman came up to our table and asked if any of us would be willing to conduct a wedding ceremony for the daughter of a congressman and her girlfriend.  I answered, 'My doctrine won't permit me to do so." 


When I awoke, I was ashamed of my cowardly answer!  I could actually feel the "fear of man" in my bones as I awakened.  As I prayed about it and the way it made me feel, I began to get downloads from God on the purpose of the dream and the way He would use it to train me.

Firstly, God made it clear to me that the place to make mistakes is in my dreams.  It is often in our dreams that our hearts are revealed, our deepest fears are manifested, and the heart of God is communicated to a mind that might be resisting Him. 

Second, God gave me a download, a revelation if you would, of what I should say or how I should respond to the very difficult question of "will you do my wedding ceremony?"  I have had so many requests over my ministry, and have never had a "standard" for how to say yes or no to them.  I have considered many approaches, all based upon externals like "church membership," "how long one has been divorced," "how long have they been engaged," to "are you sleeping together'" and a host of other potentially ambiguous and non-essentials.  I have even polled other pastors as to their policies for conducting weddings, and have found the standards as far ranging as humanly possible.  I have enacted policies for non-members that require a substantial fee compared to members, as well as requiring that the couples meet with me 4 to 6 times before the wedding.  But those have not helped, nor have they been able to change the hearts of those who had come to me. 

What I believe God showed me was to ask a simple but penetrating question.  "How would my conducting your nuptials advance the Kingdom of God and promote His Glory?"  The bottom line is that I would not conduct weddings unless they do both.  While that might appear hard and callous, it belies a solid truth behind the standard that I believe God wants for His Church and His people.  It really ought to be the standard for all of our life and conduct. 

Set Apart by John Mulinde

I am reading Pastor Mulinde's book and am beginning to see the hooks that the activities, hobbies, diversions and duties have in me. He describes their "cry for attention" as being what drowns out the call of God to draw near to Him, and inasmuch as we respond to their voice instead of God's voice, we institutionalize an idol in our hearts. These patterns of behavior and their network of activity draw us away from having a heart solely for God. No, they aren't "sinful" but are still sin, because they compete with God's sole possession of our hearts.

About 10 years ago, Pastor Mulinde says God had him list the diversions, the objects of his heart's affections, and he says he was shocked to find so many. God led him to a deep and lasting repentance which has resulted in a radical change in the way God used him.

As I reflect and pray about this, I recognize the awful truth that is here. Last year, when we fasted and prayed for 21 days, I saw the competing activities set aside as I made a conscious choice to give God my heart. This radical shift lasted for probably 2 months after the fast ended, and then I began to compromise on what I would spend time on. Before long, I found myself as deeply immersed in diversions as I was before.

What to do? I have agreed to begin a fast on September 18th which includes a fast from media (which comprises the bulk of my diversions and competition to giving God my time and attention) -- but the hard part remains...how to make it last. Stay tuned!