Dreams that I believe will come true

Not long ago I preached a message on dreaming with God.  I'm not going to detail the content here, but it is time that I take the personal step of faith of publicly declaring what I believe God gave me in dreams, so that my dreams might take root in this realm.

The most potent dream was about 2 weeks ago, I dreamed that I was in our church, and it was packed to the brim.  There were some well known people there as well.  I was holding a microphone and going around asking people to share testimonies and words from the Lord.  (the way I know it was our church was that the wireless microphone kept cutting out).  When I awoke, I felt that God was showing me that the future would be better than our best past, that He would fill the empty seats with hungry souls, people who are seeking an encounter with the Living God.  

The latest dream was last night.  It was more personal.  I was talking with a familiar man who was wearing a military uniform (a symbol of authority).  I was enjoying my conversation with him, when another, older man, in a navy uniform, of high rank, came up.  I sought him out because though I knew who he was, I had never gotten to know him.  But before I could really engage him in conversation, he began to yell at the first man, dressing him down in such a way that the first man fell to the floor in curled up position to protect himself from the verbal onslaught.  When I awoke, I puzzled over it, until I got  into the shower, and realized that the first man was my father, and the other man, the navy guy was his father.  All of the abbreviated stories my father had shared about his bitterness toward his father, all of my father's actions suddenly became understandable and explainable.  And then many of my own attitudes, grumbling, my own passive aggressive approach to relationships became clear.  They were generational curses, passed down from one generation to another.  [My grandfather had been 'disowned' by his own father for impregnating and marrying the daughter of a saloon owner while he was attending the Naval Academy.]  So while dripping wet in the shower, I spoke the words of breaking the generational curses passed down from the sins of my father's fathers.  

More dreams God!  

Claiming what God has promised

This week we called our church to a week of fasting and prayer to seek God for supernatural provision for our church finances.  On Sunday, as I shared the call to this, I explained that a family whose regular gifts which made up about 30% of our church budget had moved onto another church in May of this year, and that we were running short of funds to meet our obligations.  So as an act of faith and dependence upon God, we would seek God's face...like the kings of Judah when faced with a crisis, and ask Him to provide according to His promises.  The next day I got a message from one of our members who was touched by our choice to seek God instead of trying to manipulate our members into just "giving more."

Now I have a disclaimer in this blog...it wasn't my idea to call for a fast.  It was my godly wife, Jennifer who heard God and had the courage to suggest it by faith.  So as this week unfolds, and God speaks, reveals and provides, I can only say "wow God...it was all you!"

Today, as I met with one of my elders, I shared how in the Lord's prayer we were instructed to pray, "Give us this day our daily bread."  I was struck by the way Jesus told us to pray.  Not beg.  Not ask.  Not beseech.  Not grovel.  Not Plead.  He told to to say, "Give us..."  It isn't even a request.  "Give us" is a statement, similar to a declaration, almost a demand, like a withdrawal, like a hand out to receive what is already offered, already promised to us.  So when we come to Daddy, we come with the boldness that a child comes to their Father who has the resources he needs, and knows he will receive what he needs.

Preacher or Teacher...or who am I defined by.

I wonder how many of us are defined by who we are, or who others think we should be.

I added the "or who am I defined by" because as a pastor, I receive a lot of advice from people who think I should "be" or "do" something, or fit into a mold that they desire.  My spiritual gift is teaching.  It is what floats my boat, and it is when I use my gift that God seems to show up in power.  Of course I can always improve in every area.

Over the past year, I came under quite a bit of criticism by a number of people who have since left my church (many after being there for over 10 years) with this statement, "We want preaching, not teaching."  Hmm, I recall these very same people complimenting me no less than 2 years ago on the messages I delivered from the pulpit.  And so they left...to go to a church where the pastor filled their definition of "preaching."

Preaching...simply means to proclaim.  Teaching...it means to rightly divide the word of truth and to impart it with life application.  But for some, it seems that preaching means to make people feel bad about themselves, bad enough to want to come back next week for another dose of guilt and shame.  I know that guilt is for sin, and that comes from conviction through the Holy Spirit, and shame comes from the devil to desires to destroy and mar with lies what God has made.  

Preachers?  Some of my favorite pastors are 'teachers' ...including Charles Stanley, Andy Stanley, Bill Hybels, Bill Johnson, and others. I really don't know anyone I would call a preacher.  I am not sure that I would even be able to recognize one if I met one.

The truth is, some folks want us to fit into their mold.  They want to remodel our lives into their own image of what they want.  It happens in every church I have ever been a part of.  I know I have critiqued pastors I have sat under.   But the man or woman of God who is called to serve and pastor and deliver the Word of God must be faithful to who they are and to that calling.  He or she is not accountable to any man, but is ultimately accountable to God.

And then, there is the "excuse."  People rarely want to really tell you why they leave your church body, so they mask that behind the thinly veiled excuse "I want preaching, not teaching."  It takes time to burn through this fog, and for myself, it wasn't until I got close to my Father in Heaven and got secure in who I am and what I am doing and why I'm doing it...that I saw through the excuses some of these folks gave me.  I had to find my definition in Christ, and who I am in Him before I could see through the smoke screen.  Until I did so, I went through a ton of soul searching to understand if there was something wrong with me or with my core ministry.

Coming out of this storm and looking back, there are a lot of lessons to learn.  But the biggest one is to remain who I am in Christ and not allow the "crowd" to try to redefine me.  I am not a Billy Graham, I am not Bill Johnson, and I am certainly not Andy Stanley...as much as I admire each of them and their unique ministries.  I am Bob Higgins, Pastor, Teacher, husband, father, lover and follower of Jesus.  And my value, my identity and my worth is found in Christ alone, not in who follows me, not in the size of my church or the size of our budget.  One day I will be "evaluated" and judged by the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, the One who bought me and paid for me and gave me such generous grace...for how I used the gifts He gave to me and to check the fruit that I bore because I "remained in Him."  He alone gets to tell me who I am, and how I am to live this life.  I am defined by Jesus!

God our Provider

I could write reams about the many ways God has provided in our lives over the years. I am amazed when I recall them all.  This post is about some of the surprising ways He has provided for Here's Hope while we have been there.

Being a small church, every single gift counts.  One year, it was December, and I went to get the mail at church.  Among the mail was a letter with a check for over $1000 in it, signed by a neighbor, who simply said God told them to give it.  

Another couple visited only twice, but before the left, they left a tithe check representing about 3 months worth of giving.  Why us, we are tempted to ask.

Another couple came to our church, and shortly  afterwards, gave two stock gifts, totaling over $12000.  Our church's new mower was purchased as a result of their generosity and obedience.  

During our fundraising for our chairs, a person who was not an attender of our church met with me and handed us 20 one hundred dollars bills to help with the effort.

Then, when a family left our church, a family who's giving represented 30% of our annual budget, we had to remember all the ways God has met our needs over the years.  God is our provider and He moved mountains and people's hearts.  We remember that God, not man, is our provider.  

Leadership

After undergoing several months of challenges in our church, God recently stirred my heart with a simple book by Andy Stanley.  The book, "Deep and Wide" has captured my attention and my imagination, and awakened something that God Himself had planted inside of me a long time ago.  In the book, Andy noted that the primary role of the pastor isn't to preach or teach, but to lead.  I had been taught in Seminary how to preach, how to run meetings, how to manage people.  But I wasn't taught that leadership would be my primary role and my key responsibility.  In the book, he noted that leaders ask the question, "What is the best way to do this?" as opposed to the managerial question, "how do I keep the ball rolling."

Our church has languished for most of my eleven year tenure as pastor.  It wasn't that I never provided leadership, but I often substituted consensus for actual leading.  We have gone through numerous conflicts of values, beliefs and practices and have turned over more than our share of members over those years.  It never occurred to me that we were joined together (and conflicted) by what each person wanted or preferred.  A lack of cohesive vision was missing, and as a result, there were always some who were at odds with the musical style, the use or lack of small groups, the kinds of fellowships and outreaches we did.  We had never united in a common vision to accomplish God's purposes in our church to reach our world.

As I began to preach a series on love this month, I made a statement that got me thinking about the power of vision.  "Love gives up something we need to meet someone else's need."  With a vision grounded in love for God and for our neighbors (who don't know Christ or are unchurched) we will far more united and willing to set aside what we "want" to meet the needs of others (the unsaved).  Musical style, decor, even the programming will become secondary to the vision itself of engaging those God has called us to reach.

Tonight, as I tossed and turned in my bed before arising to write this, God brought back memories of the many times I have asked the question (before entering the pastorate), "What is the best way to do this."  I realized in this time of reflection that God had planted this in me, that God Himself had prepared me for this moment in time to take the reins of visionary leadership and to be a catalyst for reaching our community.

I hope to cast a clear vision for our church the first Sunday in March, one that we can grab a hold of and pursue with all of our creative passion for the King.

Playing Offense

I was meditating on the life of David this evening, and couldn't help but to notice that when he was "running" from Saul, he wasn't attacking the Philistines and other enemies of Israel.  But then, in a fascinating turn of events, he appears to go into enemy territory to hide (and ally himself with the Philistines) which allows him to stop "running" and go on the offense against a host of different enemies of Israel.

I have noticed that when I am under attack by the enemy, I  am not fighting on the offensive.  Instead, I am living a defensive lifestyle.  Bold faith becomes difficult. My life becomes about "protecting myself" instead of advancing the Kingdom of God.  What is worse, is when I go on defense, the attacks always seem to increase in frequency and number and power.  Now I understand why Jesus didn't answer his critics or defend himself, but simply continued in his ministry.  (No, I'm not Jesus, but He lives in me, and His Spirit leads if I'm willing to follow).  He was certain about His direction, and refused to "play" defense.  He continued in His offensive strike against the Kingdom of Darkness despite the criticisms, being misunderstood, and even when he offended people.  

Sometimes I think we invite criticism when we are too sensitive to how people react to us or our ministry.  Sensitivity often invites more critiques, which is perceived as weakness.  Humility, on the other hand, is much different.  Humility is about dependence on God...which this past year God has been teaching me that my life needs much more of.  Sensitivity seems to be related to the fear of man, whereas humility is related to the fear of God.  

I know I will not please everyone.  Heck, I am learning I probably won't please anyone.  There is ONE that I must please.  That lifestyle, like David's, is one that refuses to live on the defensive, but rather focuses on moving ahead in faith.