Preacher or Teacher...or who am I defined by.

I wonder how many of us are defined by who we are, or who others think we should be.

I added the "or who am I defined by" because as a pastor, I receive a lot of advice from people who think I should "be" or "do" something, or fit into a mold that they desire.  My spiritual gift is teaching.  It is what floats my boat, and it is when I use my gift that God seems to show up in power.  Of course I can always improve in every area.

Over the past year, I came under quite a bit of criticism by a number of people who have since left my church (many after being there for over 10 years) with this statement, "We want preaching, not teaching."  Hmm, I recall these very same people complimenting me no less than 2 years ago on the messages I delivered from the pulpit.  And so they left...to go to a church where the pastor filled their definition of "preaching."

Preaching...simply means to proclaim.  Teaching...it means to rightly divide the word of truth and to impart it with life application.  But for some, it seems that preaching means to make people feel bad about themselves, bad enough to want to come back next week for another dose of guilt and shame.  I know that guilt is for sin, and that comes from conviction through the Holy Spirit, and shame comes from the devil to desires to destroy and mar with lies what God has made.  

Preachers?  Some of my favorite pastors are 'teachers' ...including Charles Stanley, Andy Stanley, Bill Hybels, Bill Johnson, and others. I really don't know anyone I would call a preacher.  I am not sure that I would even be able to recognize one if I met one.

The truth is, some folks want us to fit into their mold.  They want to remodel our lives into their own image of what they want.  It happens in every church I have ever been a part of.  I know I have critiqued pastors I have sat under.   But the man or woman of God who is called to serve and pastor and deliver the Word of God must be faithful to who they are and to that calling.  He or she is not accountable to any man, but is ultimately accountable to God.

And then, there is the "excuse."  People rarely want to really tell you why they leave your church body, so they mask that behind the thinly veiled excuse "I want preaching, not teaching."  It takes time to burn through this fog, and for myself, it wasn't until I got close to my Father in Heaven and got secure in who I am and what I am doing and why I'm doing it...that I saw through the excuses some of these folks gave me.  I had to find my definition in Christ, and who I am in Him before I could see through the smoke screen.  Until I did so, I went through a ton of soul searching to understand if there was something wrong with me or with my core ministry.

Coming out of this storm and looking back, there are a lot of lessons to learn.  But the biggest one is to remain who I am in Christ and not allow the "crowd" to try to redefine me.  I am not a Billy Graham, I am not Bill Johnson, and I am certainly not Andy Stanley...as much as I admire each of them and their unique ministries.  I am Bob Higgins, Pastor, Teacher, husband, father, lover and follower of Jesus.  And my value, my identity and my worth is found in Christ alone, not in who follows me, not in the size of my church or the size of our budget.  One day I will be "evaluated" and judged by the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, the One who bought me and paid for me and gave me such generous grace...for how I used the gifts He gave to me and to check the fruit that I bore because I "remained in Him."  He alone gets to tell me who I am, and how I am to live this life.  I am defined by Jesus!

God our Provider

I could write reams about the many ways God has provided in our lives over the years. I am amazed when I recall them all.  This post is about some of the surprising ways He has provided for Here's Hope while we have been there.

Being a small church, every single gift counts.  One year, it was December, and I went to get the mail at church.  Among the mail was a letter with a check for over $1000 in it, signed by a neighbor, who simply said God told them to give it.  

Another couple visited only twice, but before the left, they left a tithe check representing about 3 months worth of giving.  Why us, we are tempted to ask.

Another couple came to our church, and shortly  afterwards, gave two stock gifts, totaling over $12000.  Our church's new mower was purchased as a result of their generosity and obedience.  

During our fundraising for our chairs, a person who was not an attender of our church met with me and handed us 20 one hundred dollars bills to help with the effort.

Then, when a family left our church, a family who's giving represented 30% of our annual budget, we had to remember all the ways God has met our needs over the years.  God is our provider and He moved mountains and people's hearts.  We remember that God, not man, is our provider.  

Leadership

After undergoing several months of challenges in our church, God recently stirred my heart with a simple book by Andy Stanley.  The book, "Deep and Wide" has captured my attention and my imagination, and awakened something that God Himself had planted inside of me a long time ago.  In the book, Andy noted that the primary role of the pastor isn't to preach or teach, but to lead.  I had been taught in Seminary how to preach, how to run meetings, how to manage people.  But I wasn't taught that leadership would be my primary role and my key responsibility.  In the book, he noted that leaders ask the question, "What is the best way to do this?" as opposed to the managerial question, "how do I keep the ball rolling."

Our church has languished for most of my eleven year tenure as pastor.  It wasn't that I never provided leadership, but I often substituted consensus for actual leading.  We have gone through numerous conflicts of values, beliefs and practices and have turned over more than our share of members over those years.  It never occurred to me that we were joined together (and conflicted) by what each person wanted or preferred.  A lack of cohesive vision was missing, and as a result, there were always some who were at odds with the musical style, the use or lack of small groups, the kinds of fellowships and outreaches we did.  We had never united in a common vision to accomplish God's purposes in our church to reach our world.

As I began to preach a series on love this month, I made a statement that got me thinking about the power of vision.  "Love gives up something we need to meet someone else's need."  With a vision grounded in love for God and for our neighbors (who don't know Christ or are unchurched) we will far more united and willing to set aside what we "want" to meet the needs of others (the unsaved).  Musical style, decor, even the programming will become secondary to the vision itself of engaging those God has called us to reach.

Tonight, as I tossed and turned in my bed before arising to write this, God brought back memories of the many times I have asked the question (before entering the pastorate), "What is the best way to do this."  I realized in this time of reflection that God had planted this in me, that God Himself had prepared me for this moment in time to take the reins of visionary leadership and to be a catalyst for reaching our community.

I hope to cast a clear vision for our church the first Sunday in March, one that we can grab a hold of and pursue with all of our creative passion for the King.

Playing Offense

I was meditating on the life of David this evening, and couldn't help but to notice that when he was "running" from Saul, he wasn't attacking the Philistines and other enemies of Israel.  But then, in a fascinating turn of events, he appears to go into enemy territory to hide (and ally himself with the Philistines) which allows him to stop "running" and go on the offense against a host of different enemies of Israel.

I have noticed that when I am under attack by the enemy, I  am not fighting on the offensive.  Instead, I am living a defensive lifestyle.  Bold faith becomes difficult. My life becomes about "protecting myself" instead of advancing the Kingdom of God.  What is worse, is when I go on defense, the attacks always seem to increase in frequency and number and power.  Now I understand why Jesus didn't answer his critics or defend himself, but simply continued in his ministry.  (No, I'm not Jesus, but He lives in me, and His Spirit leads if I'm willing to follow).  He was certain about His direction, and refused to "play" defense.  He continued in His offensive strike against the Kingdom of Darkness despite the criticisms, being misunderstood, and even when he offended people.  

Sometimes I think we invite criticism when we are too sensitive to how people react to us or our ministry.  Sensitivity often invites more critiques, which is perceived as weakness.  Humility, on the other hand, is much different.  Humility is about dependence on God...which this past year God has been teaching me that my life needs much more of.  Sensitivity seems to be related to the fear of man, whereas humility is related to the fear of God.  

I know I will not please everyone.  Heck, I am learning I probably won't please anyone.  There is ONE that I must please.  That lifestyle, like David's, is one that refuses to live on the defensive, but rather focuses on moving ahead in faith.  

Birthing Revival

During our trip to the VOA in Lancaster, I heard several specific messages that the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart.  Let me share one that I believe has massive implications for my church, our town and our region.

On the first morning of the conference, Jennifer and I attended a crowded prayer meeting in a lower conference room.  A delightful lady led it with passion and joy.  About midway through the meeting she blurted out, "The time of transition must end."  It struck me like a lightning bolt.  I stored it up in my heart and went on to the rest of the conference.

Later that same day, Heidi Baker (missionary from Mozambique) spoke at the conference.  She shared a story about how she was about to catch a plane but had like an hour until departure.  In the same town, was a friend she knew was about to have a baby, so she stopped in to see her.  While there, the doctor told them that her friend was only 1 cm dilated, and that it would be a "long time" before this baby was born.  (I'm going to omit some of the details here).  Heidi recognized that the time was short and that she had made a commitment to her friend to help her birth...so she boldly declared "Now is the Time"  The baby was born 10 minutes later!  Heidi tied this story in to her recognition that the church is "in transition"...pregnant with revival, but not delivering.  "It is time to stop the transition.  It is time to call the birthing forth.  It is time to declare on earth what is in heaven."

I began to think about my own church (and the churches of Madison and UNO) and how we have been "transitioning" for over 5 years now toward a move of the Holy Spirit.  Walking softly, trying not to insult or be misunderstood by our members.  Not wanting to offend, but maintain unity.  The problem is, that people left anyway, because they weren't unified around the Presence of God.  We weren't unified around the earnest desire to see revival (the Presence of God manifesting in our region).  Our unity was simply the desire to "keep our membership intact."

That transition must end.  We (I) must lay aside our fear of man. I choose to do so today.  I choose revival no matter the cost.  I choose Holy Spirit and all He wants to do in our midst.  No more delay.  We declare the birthing to come forth...that which is in heaven to come to earth.  Now.  Today.  No more delay.

Addendum:  As I prayed over these thoughts, God reminded me of a prophetic word given our Madison/Geneva pastors prayer meeting when we were praying for revival.  "The coming revival will not be in a single church, but will arise in the entire region, so no one can call it theirs."  I dwelt on that thought and realized that when God releases His Spirit upon our region, we will have "little fires" all across our region in our churches.  But it will only be when we come together that we will have a firestorm that will be unstoppable, unquenchable and irresistible.  I envision Sunday services in our own churches to feed our flocks, and daily services where God is moving, in a large space where we can all come together and bring the power of God to bear upon our community.  Where no one church bears the responsibility to do all the worship leadership, all of the ministry, but where we all share the load of touching our region, and perhaps our nation and the world. 

Wind in the Sails?

Yesterday, I was listening to Bill Johnson and a sermon he was giving at a conference in Fort Worth, Texas.  He made a pretty earth shattering statement that "Beware of any doctrine of the sovereignty of God that leaves you being merely a spectator." 

Now, I subscribe (at least intellectually) to the belief that Dutch Sheets has laid out that "God does little in the earth except by or through the prayers of His people."  In other words, God very often holds his hand until someone prays.  He chooses to limit much of His conduct upon the earth to working through His people, the Church. 

Bill Johnson went on to say that authority and power are evidenced in a picture of wind and sails.  Essentially, power is what is being manifested when we raise our sails to the wind.  God sends the wind, and we merely raise our sails to join Him in what He is doing.  But authority, according to Bill, is when we release the wind. 

It is easy to be passive as a believer.  It seems so much safer to be passive than to take risks and to stick my neck out and risk looking stupid or worse.  Yet, when Jesus gave His disciples "authority over unclean spirits, to heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers and preach the Kingdom of God" He was delegating authority to them (read "us") to take steps of faith in Him. So we not only look to see what God is doing and join Him in that process (which I believe is obedience) but we also can step out boldly in faith and move into the unseen realms, trusting God is there because we have the mind of Christ. 

Die Flesh Die!

I started a three day fast on Tuesday, not really a hard thing, considering it only involves the abstention of food after 3pm and  until 7am, and the fasting from television and computer distractions during that time as well.  But my flesh certainly rebelled, and rebelled hard against it.  By 6:30pm on the drive to church, I found myself irritable, by the trip home I was not just irritable but edgy, short in my responses to my wife and trying to come to grips with how to pray. 

Later that evening, Jennifer was cooking a meal for her employer (which she had to take to work with her the next day) and the air was filled the smell of italian food.  Now my stomach was in overdrive, having skipped dinner for "more time with God" I found myself complaining and unhappy.  So, I went to bed without telling anyone.  Jennifer came to bed an hour later and I was still grumpy.  When she asked if I wanted to pray, I mumbled out a "you pray, I'll agree with you."  (translation:  I don't want to!)  My flesh was not going to give in without a major fight.  The reason we had decided to do this three day fast was so that we could pray for our church and for decisions related to vision for the church as well as our own personal direction. 

Finally, after an hour of sleeplessness, grumbling to God and trying to "give it to Him" I rolled over and apologized to Jennifer.  Then we prayed.  It wasn't earth-shattering prayer, but it was a victory. My prayer now is "Die Flesh, Die!"  I don't like it when my flesh runs my life!