Hearing God

As I prepare to do my second sermon on "hearing God" i thought it would be prudent to read some things that other pastors and teachers have said on the subject.  What surprised me was that there are those who say that they have never heard God speak to them (John MacArthur is a notable example).  While I differ with MacArthur's cessationist views, I wasn't expecting to hear him say he had never heard God's voice.  

Perhaps there was a difference in terminology, maybe he thought the person who posed the question meant "audibly."  But as I scanned my memory of conversations with pastors and others over the years, I can distinctly remember a group of folks who would say that "God has said all He is going to say, and it is written in His word."

So, to what do they ascribe direction in daily life, divine appointments, answers to prayer, impressions in one's spirit, specific choices that one submit's to God for approval or direction?  Is not the reason we pray is to get an answer?  Is not an answer to prayer a "reply" from the One to whom we have asked?  To what do we ascribe a specific impression, dream or word in our head that leads us to be a catalytic answer to a divine problem if not the "voice of God."  

Very early on in my walk as a Christian (and I was discipled by a group of non-Charismatic, Bible Chapel fundamentalists) I was taught to discern the voice of God.  In fact, their church services resembled a Quaker service from the 1800's in which no one presided over the service, but a person would stand up and announce a song from the hymnbook that all would join in.  Then another would do the same.  After a while another person would read a scripture, and perhaps someone else would expound on that bible passage with an exhortation.  All throughout, you could see a red thread tying each action, each song, each activity together in a meaningful and cohesive flow.  Even with making allowances for one's fleshly attempts to make it work, you could still see a supernatural Hand directing the message.  You could almost "hear" the voice of God beneath the surface of all that you saw and heard.  

Later, as a result of my Charismatic brethren, I was introduced to more direct means of hearing God, but no less requiring discernment and the need to filter with the Word of God.  It was in this first year of my journey with God that I literally saw scripture passages leap off the pages of the bible into my heart, writing searing corrections, giving sound direction and great encouragement to my life.  

One of the most telling experiences as a young Christian occurred one night as I drove home from my job at Nabisco in Houston, Texas.  I had no air conditioning in my car, so i drove with my windows open and was stopped at the light at Fondren and Braeswood Boulevards.  I heard the sound of gunshots to my left and looked to see several figures running across the parking lot of a grocery store. An impulse stronger than any I had felt before filled my heart and ran against the voice of reason and self preservation.  That impulse led me to drive across several lanes of traffic and pull into the parking lot of the store.  I got out of my car, and saw a black man lying on the ground, bleeding from the back of his head.  A very large hand gun lay nearby.  He was moaning and semiconscious.  I asked the crowd that was gathering who he was.  They said, "Oh, he is our security guard, an off duty policeman."  After hearing this I felt that God would have me pray for him, so I approached his feet and heard a correction in my spirit, almost shout at me, "no, go to his face".  So i cautiously approached his face and he looked me straight in my eyes.  I asked him (not expecting an answer) if he wanted me to pray with him.   He replied, "yes."  So we prayed, I would say a few words and he would repeat them.  (I was convinced he was a Christian by the way he responded, but still led him in a sinner's prayer.)  After what seemed like forever, LifeFlight landed and they let me stay by his side until he was loaded on the copter.  (during the whole time I held his hand in one hand, and his head in the other.) 

I heard later that he had survived the injury.   

As I look back on this seminal experience in practically obeying the "voice of God" I realized that God had clearly and distinctly spoken to me, to be a comfort and an encourager to a brother in need.  His voice sounded like my own.  But His voice defied reason and self-preservation, self-comfort, convenience, and required faith to respond and obey.  Even subtle directions like "move to his face" were God's words in my heart calling me to listen and obey.

In closing, I have to say that hearing God's voice gets easier as we listen and obey.  The more we shut Him out, the more we refuse to obey or take steps of faith in response to His voice, the more we will become hard of hearing.  Not surprisingly, Jesus said, "let those who have ears to hear, let them hear."

Reflection on 2013

It has been a full year since the  "exodus" of several influential families from our church.  It has been a hard year, and yet also a year full of surprises and revelation and new opportunities.  As 2013 dawned, Jennifer and I felt that we were starting over at the church.  11 years serving at Here's Hope and we were basically back where we started from in attendance, giving and ministry.  But God had plans for us, to prosper us and not to harm us, and the journey into new fields was just beginning.

In late spring, I got an invitation from our local baptist association to take my wife to Amish country, for a free weekend with some other pastors from our association.  But when we arrived, the dozen or so pastors were ALL church planters.  We were the only couple who were not church planters.  We remembered what God had whispered to us about "starting over" and felt as if God was giving us instruction on how to do so.  Our church was the size of a church plant we had been a part of way back in 1987 when at Wedgwood Baptist Church in Fort Worth TX called out a group to start a mission church.  We joined as lay servants and were a part of the church growing to over 600 people in just a few years. This memory was significant, because Here's Hope was only about 60 strong now, which meant we had to develop a mentality of church planters.  So, as we talked with the church planters on the weekend, we heard many ideas and strategies for growing a young small church.

When we returned home, I felt as if we were to do the things that one would do if we were starting over.  The first thing that God showed me was that I was to "get into the community and develop new relationships with unchurched folks."  So that is what I did.  During the summer of 2013, I joined the Senior Center in Madison and began joining a group of senior citizens for a lunch twice a week.  Before long, I had people coming up to me during lunch for prayer.  Then, in late summer, one of our church members who works at the Madison Library shared with me that the new High School next to the library lets the kids out and they flock to the library after school with nothing to do.  So, on a step of faith, I began visiting the library on Thursdays at 3pm, and just walking around talking to students.  Before long, I had several students who i met and established a rapport with.  Then in December, while at McDonalds, I saw one of the students who was there with his parents.  It opened up a dialogue with his family.  

During this same time, i met with a church planter and shared my vision of reaching the unchurched in our community.  God must have planted something inside of his heart, because he contacted the head chaplain for the county YMCA and that person invited me to become a chaplain for the Madison Y.  As I met for the first time withe the Madison director, she asked me if i thought if our church could conduct a VBS at the Y in 2014.  Wow.  We had decided in 2013 not to hold a VBS at our church for 2014 because it doesn't tend to attract unchurched kids.  But at the Y...if we branded it an evening camp with a Christian emphasis, we would have no trouble reaching unchurched kids.  

So, here we are, in the first Sunday of 2014, looking back and not feeling all that great about the struggles, but also looking forward to a year of promise.  What we see is opportunities to build relationships, reach people who are unchurched, disconnected, and without God in their lives, and to bring hope for the hurting and salvation to the lost.  

Dreams that I believe will come true

Not long ago I preached a message on dreaming with God.  I'm not going to detail the content here, but it is time that I take the personal step of faith of publicly declaring what I believe God gave me in dreams, so that my dreams might take root in this realm.

The most potent dream was about 2 weeks ago, I dreamed that I was in our church, and it was packed to the brim.  There were some well known people there as well.  I was holding a microphone and going around asking people to share testimonies and words from the Lord.  (the way I know it was our church was that the wireless microphone kept cutting out).  When I awoke, I felt that God was showing me that the future would be better than our best past, that He would fill the empty seats with hungry souls, people who are seeking an encounter with the Living God.  

The latest dream was last night.  It was more personal.  I was talking with a familiar man who was wearing a military uniform (a symbol of authority).  I was enjoying my conversation with him, when another, older man, in a navy uniform, of high rank, came up.  I sought him out because though I knew who he was, I had never gotten to know him.  But before I could really engage him in conversation, he began to yell at the first man, dressing him down in such a way that the first man fell to the floor in curled up position to protect himself from the verbal onslaught.  When I awoke, I puzzled over it, until I got  into the shower, and realized that the first man was my father, and the other man, the navy guy was his father.  All of the abbreviated stories my father had shared about his bitterness toward his father, all of my father's actions suddenly became understandable and explainable.  And then many of my own attitudes, grumbling, my own passive aggressive approach to relationships became clear.  They were generational curses, passed down from one generation to another.  [My grandfather had been 'disowned' by his own father for impregnating and marrying the daughter of a saloon owner while he was attending the Naval Academy.]  So while dripping wet in the shower, I spoke the words of breaking the generational curses passed down from the sins of my father's fathers.  

More dreams God!  

Claiming what God has promised

This week we called our church to a week of fasting and prayer to seek God for supernatural provision for our church finances.  On Sunday, as I shared the call to this, I explained that a family whose regular gifts which made up about 30% of our church budget had moved onto another church in May of this year, and that we were running short of funds to meet our obligations.  So as an act of faith and dependence upon God, we would seek God's face...like the kings of Judah when faced with a crisis, and ask Him to provide according to His promises.  The next day I got a message from one of our members who was touched by our choice to seek God instead of trying to manipulate our members into just "giving more."

Now I have a disclaimer in this blog...it wasn't my idea to call for a fast.  It was my godly wife, Jennifer who heard God and had the courage to suggest it by faith.  So as this week unfolds, and God speaks, reveals and provides, I can only say "wow God...it was all you!"

Today, as I met with one of my elders, I shared how in the Lord's prayer we were instructed to pray, "Give us this day our daily bread."  I was struck by the way Jesus told us to pray.  Not beg.  Not ask.  Not beseech.  Not grovel.  Not Plead.  He told to to say, "Give us..."  It isn't even a request.  "Give us" is a statement, similar to a declaration, almost a demand, like a withdrawal, like a hand out to receive what is already offered, already promised to us.  So when we come to Daddy, we come with the boldness that a child comes to their Father who has the resources he needs, and knows he will receive what he needs.

Preacher or Teacher...or who am I defined by.

I wonder how many of us are defined by who we are, or who others think we should be.

I added the "or who am I defined by" because as a pastor, I receive a lot of advice from people who think I should "be" or "do" something, or fit into a mold that they desire.  My spiritual gift is teaching.  It is what floats my boat, and it is when I use my gift that God seems to show up in power.  Of course I can always improve in every area.

Over the past year, I came under quite a bit of criticism by a number of people who have since left my church (many after being there for over 10 years) with this statement, "We want preaching, not teaching."  Hmm, I recall these very same people complimenting me no less than 2 years ago on the messages I delivered from the pulpit.  And so they left...to go to a church where the pastor filled their definition of "preaching."

Preaching...simply means to proclaim.  Teaching...it means to rightly divide the word of truth and to impart it with life application.  But for some, it seems that preaching means to make people feel bad about themselves, bad enough to want to come back next week for another dose of guilt and shame.  I know that guilt is for sin, and that comes from conviction through the Holy Spirit, and shame comes from the devil to desires to destroy and mar with lies what God has made.  

Preachers?  Some of my favorite pastors are 'teachers' ...including Charles Stanley, Andy Stanley, Bill Hybels, Bill Johnson, and others. I really don't know anyone I would call a preacher.  I am not sure that I would even be able to recognize one if I met one.

The truth is, some folks want us to fit into their mold.  They want to remodel our lives into their own image of what they want.  It happens in every church I have ever been a part of.  I know I have critiqued pastors I have sat under.   But the man or woman of God who is called to serve and pastor and deliver the Word of God must be faithful to who they are and to that calling.  He or she is not accountable to any man, but is ultimately accountable to God.

And then, there is the "excuse."  People rarely want to really tell you why they leave your church body, so they mask that behind the thinly veiled excuse "I want preaching, not teaching."  It takes time to burn through this fog, and for myself, it wasn't until I got close to my Father in Heaven and got secure in who I am and what I am doing and why I'm doing it...that I saw through the excuses some of these folks gave me.  I had to find my definition in Christ, and who I am in Him before I could see through the smoke screen.  Until I did so, I went through a ton of soul searching to understand if there was something wrong with me or with my core ministry.

Coming out of this storm and looking back, there are a lot of lessons to learn.  But the biggest one is to remain who I am in Christ and not allow the "crowd" to try to redefine me.  I am not a Billy Graham, I am not Bill Johnson, and I am certainly not Andy Stanley...as much as I admire each of them and their unique ministries.  I am Bob Higgins, Pastor, Teacher, husband, father, lover and follower of Jesus.  And my value, my identity and my worth is found in Christ alone, not in who follows me, not in the size of my church or the size of our budget.  One day I will be "evaluated" and judged by the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, the One who bought me and paid for me and gave me such generous grace...for how I used the gifts He gave to me and to check the fruit that I bore because I "remained in Him."  He alone gets to tell me who I am, and how I am to live this life.  I am defined by Jesus!

God our Provider

I could write reams about the many ways God has provided in our lives over the years. I am amazed when I recall them all.  This post is about some of the surprising ways He has provided for Here's Hope while we have been there.

Being a small church, every single gift counts.  One year, it was December, and I went to get the mail at church.  Among the mail was a letter with a check for over $1000 in it, signed by a neighbor, who simply said God told them to give it.  

Another couple visited only twice, but before the left, they left a tithe check representing about 3 months worth of giving.  Why us, we are tempted to ask.

Another couple came to our church, and shortly  afterwards, gave two stock gifts, totaling over $12000.  Our church's new mower was purchased as a result of their generosity and obedience.  

During our fundraising for our chairs, a person who was not an attender of our church met with me and handed us 20 one hundred dollars bills to help with the effort.

Then, when a family left our church, a family who's giving represented 30% of our annual budget, we had to remember all the ways God has met our needs over the years.  God is our provider and He moved mountains and people's hearts.  We remember that God, not man, is our provider.  

Leadership

After undergoing several months of challenges in our church, God recently stirred my heart with a simple book by Andy Stanley.  The book, "Deep and Wide" has captured my attention and my imagination, and awakened something that God Himself had planted inside of me a long time ago.  In the book, Andy noted that the primary role of the pastor isn't to preach or teach, but to lead.  I had been taught in Seminary how to preach, how to run meetings, how to manage people.  But I wasn't taught that leadership would be my primary role and my key responsibility.  In the book, he noted that leaders ask the question, "What is the best way to do this?" as opposed to the managerial question, "how do I keep the ball rolling."

Our church has languished for most of my eleven year tenure as pastor.  It wasn't that I never provided leadership, but I often substituted consensus for actual leading.  We have gone through numerous conflicts of values, beliefs and practices and have turned over more than our share of members over those years.  It never occurred to me that we were joined together (and conflicted) by what each person wanted or preferred.  A lack of cohesive vision was missing, and as a result, there were always some who were at odds with the musical style, the use or lack of small groups, the kinds of fellowships and outreaches we did.  We had never united in a common vision to accomplish God's purposes in our church to reach our world.

As I began to preach a series on love this month, I made a statement that got me thinking about the power of vision.  "Love gives up something we need to meet someone else's need."  With a vision grounded in love for God and for our neighbors (who don't know Christ or are unchurched) we will far more united and willing to set aside what we "want" to meet the needs of others (the unsaved).  Musical style, decor, even the programming will become secondary to the vision itself of engaging those God has called us to reach.

Tonight, as I tossed and turned in my bed before arising to write this, God brought back memories of the many times I have asked the question (before entering the pastorate), "What is the best way to do this."  I realized in this time of reflection that God had planted this in me, that God Himself had prepared me for this moment in time to take the reins of visionary leadership and to be a catalyst for reaching our community.

I hope to cast a clear vision for our church the first Sunday in March, one that we can grab a hold of and pursue with all of our creative passion for the King.